Well, yesterday I was a testimony to the slippery slope of food addiction. Several reasons led to my inability to control the eating urge. First, I didn’t get enough sleep. Second, I was still stressed from the day before. Two hours of water aerobics helped the stress, but didn’t alleviate it entirely. Third, the day was gray and dreary. These are not good excuses at all, but just my attempt to understand what will push me over the edge to eat too much.
The good thing is that I don’t have truly unhealthy food in the house anymore and I didn’t get dressed to drive to the store for something unhealthy. However, I certainly ate my way through a ton of food. Had a great dinner of balsamic chicken, couscous, and grilled squash–measured it all. However, I didn’t feel full. I think I was looking for the old, I’ve eaten too much full feeling.
Anyway, my husband continued to grill squash after we finished eating and the incredible aroma of garlic filled the house. So up I got up and ate some squash. Tried to control the urge to eat by drinking hot tea. That often works for me. However, a little later, still thinking I was hungry, I ate 3 low fat cinnamon sugar graham crackers with 1 1/2 tbsp of almond butter. A little later, I had a Fage 0% fruit yogurt. Still not feeling over full–the feeling I am trying to learn does NOT mean full–I had two bowls of Cheerios with skim milk. Since I am lactose intolerant, that gave me the over full feeling.
After so much food, plus a 3 hour nap due to poor sleep the night before, I slept poorly. At 3 a.m. I got up and ate 2 tsp of almond butter. Aarrgghh!!!
So my binge is over. I used to think I didn’t binge since I have never purged, but reading what I ate on my out-of-control day, I realize I had a binge–a drawn out binge, but a binge nonetheless.
Still working on binge control issues. I am not giving up and I am back on track today, but I am reminded again that this is my war with food. I lost one battle yesterday, but I am NOT going to lose the war.
Thanks Annabelle and Anonymous! I am working on healthy eating and exercise. Want to avoid just sitting and watching the world go by. I want to get out and do, so I need to be healthy for that.
Although I have yet (I am sure it’s coming) to write about it on my own blog, or talk about it much, I have a long history of binge eating too. I figure that as long as the average binge amount and content (if it’s nut-butter rather than chocolate cake and ice-cream then that’s a win!) is improving then I figure I am still making progress.
And it sounds to me like you are too!
Love it! That is one of the things I struggle with is falling down that slippery slope. So easy to feel like once you’ve slipped a little…all is lost. I too have a new outlook on life this year…and that is every meal is a new meal. Put the mistake behind me and move on!!